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Dating is about you, show up or stop looking.

Over two long relationships, dating here and there, run in’s with the devil and the perfect match. I can share a little bit about the realities of dating. Here’s six points to never forget that this process is completely about you partly illustrated by the animal kingdom.

One

There is no need to find someone by being what you think they are seeking. The person who wants to be with you accepts you as you are, they see the light in you before it’s turned on and they accept the version of you as they accept themselves as forever changing and forever growing. Dating can be one dimensional (just about sex or cuddles) but that has to be accepted by you and those involved. But when dating is about courtship and meeting someone you want to be in a relationship with then games and pretending won’t cut it. Be yourself every step of the way.

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Two

Recognize your worth and that you are worthy. You deserve the perfect match because that perfection is what you choose to manifest. You don’ t have to settle for less to be in a relationship, but if you want to speed up the process, start perfecting yourself in the sense that you work diligently to become your best self. Who you meet will be the best version of you, if you too, are working on being the best version of yourself.

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Three

Compromises no longer holds weight in the courtship process the way Steve Harvey would tell you. Courtship is not a compromise it’s an acceptance. Compromising yourself for the sake of “romance” means you also find yourself unacceptable or unsuitable for romance so why then are you trying to partner up. The reality is our true selves always makes its way out no matter how hard we try to push it down or cover it up. In the smallest and slightest of habits and actions, who you are will always be known. Compromising that self only delays who will eventually become known. Let them see who you are from beginning to end. Compromise may have a place somewhere in the world but when it comes to showing others who you are it doesn’t.

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Compromise? No thanks!

Four

Seek a partner for the connection not for the marriage. Simply put, marriage will last as long a connection does; pushing beyond the existence of a connection stops both of you from being who you were meant to be and stops the marriage from being true – yes it is now a lie. Marriage is a beautiful thing it’s also an outcome to many when it too, is a part of the process of creating union to infinity and beyond! Your connection in the courting process trumps everything including marriage because then you can fully be present and immerse yourself in the love that comes naturally as you connect to yourself and others. Marriage will come when it is meant to, do not force what is not meant to fit, your time will come if it was meant to come. Detach yourself from the belief that you are legitimate once married, hold your legitimacy in your heart and connect to those who truly feel you, marriage could be the result or maybe it’s just time to connect.

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Five

They will see how important you are based on the priority you give to yourself. We all have obligations and needs but no need is stronger than the need to be your own number one priority, kids or no kids. The parent is not selfish for taking a break from their baby, they know the love won’t stop by stepping away. You date to meet your match in intelligence, in spirit, in love and in importance. The respect of you comes with the recognition that you have a purpose to be fulfilled and that, that purpose is so powerful I just can’t wait to see you fill it. You will look at them the same way. Dating sees you completely in tune with the power that is within you. Don’t try to capture that power by asking for all the attention; give space or support to help their power expand and vice versa. We are equally important, but let the importance you place on yourself enable your light to shine so bright that the stars recognize you.

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Six

You do not date to be needed or to make someone feel needed, that is not good energy. The one you connect with doesn’t need you and you don’t need them either. Need is not love, my love. Need is forcing energy in one direction when it is always free flowing. You date to meet your complement so your exchange of energy flows so freely you can’t believe you were hung up on this and that. You realize quickly that should doesn’t exist because it just is. I see you as complete in your being and you see me the same, we accept that we can support, assist and help each other but we also accept that we got this on our own if you are not with me. Say the word need and say the word complement, even the form of your face recognizes the distinction between the energy. Remember need isn’t suggesting you can prance around yelling I don’t need a this or that, it’s simply about standing in your certainty that you are capable and able, free flowing energetically and fully prepared to be with your complement.

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I hope this challenged your thinking about dating. I was always thinking about it but when I started to feel, the above became foundations for finally being able to meet truly amazing people.

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