Each week of January I’ll be focusing on a different topic that has paralyzed me over the last year, and quite frankly most of my life. This week I start with fear hence the title Fearless 2018. From the 1st to the 7th of January I hadn’t felt like the year 2018 had started for me as yet and now as I plan out my goals and aspirations I realize how important it is for me to work with my shadows in order to conquer the world I’ve created and be the superhero I am. Work with me each week I have no doubt our experiences will mirror in some form or some way.
The baseline of my fear began in the dark, here’s the story lol.
I used to be afraid of the dark, so I had a nightlight that would help me get to sleep and make me feel safe. This worked as a child but I never actually grew out of my fear of the dark. I realized how serious my fear of the dark was when my area was hit with a black out and I was home alone. It was the dead of winter in 1999, just kidding I wasn’t really home alone till about 2009 when it was just me and my mom. I remember snow covered the driveway and ice covered the street, I went into the basement to get something and my laptop and cell phone were all upstairs. Like most basements you have a tiny little window that you probably can’t escape from. The moonlight never hits you down there, so I was only reassured of my safety when the lights were on. As I was in the furthest corner of the basement all of a sudden the lights went out! I remember the instant feeling that every scary movie was about to come true and I’d die for sure. In a panic I ran towards the stairs, up to the main floor and ran outside, no shoes, jacket or cell phone. Now it was truly just me and the moonlight. The moonlight kept me safe.
But the real danger wasn’t the dark it was the fact that I’m standing outside the house in socks and a t-shirt in the dead of winter. WHAT AM I thinking!!!
I no longer have a nightlight, but I’m also no longer afraid of the dark. I started reading this AMAZING book named ‘A Course in Miracles” and literally relieved myself of almost 90% of my fears, the only one remaining was the fear of my own darkness.
Two statements did it for me and I’ll tell you why after.
“The correction of fear is your responsibility”
“Both miracles and fear come from thoughts. If you are not free to choose one, you would also not be free to choose the other. By choosing miracle, you have rejected fear, if only temporarily. You have been fearful of everyone and everything…. You have miscreated and believe in what you have made….The fearful must miscreate because they mispercieve creation.”
As I learned and truly, truly, truly understood that fear is of the mind, its of my creation, I realized I’d be the only one who could rid myself of it. At the same time, I began to understand myself as an aspect of God (which means I’m love) I learned then, that I’m both light and darkness – God really knows how to balance that out – which means I can have grace in darkness, the same way I do in the light. This may sound super philosophical, biblical even to my standards, so the bottom line is this: As a part of the universe, this cool creation of good and bad, I also balance and experience good and bad on the regular which means I have the choice and the means to figure out how to deal with the bad so it never hurts me.
Fear is in my mind, but darkness is in my being, as I understand the things I used to be afraid of or what scares me, external and internal, I can decide how I’m going to use this fear as a gift instead of experiencing it as a curse. This is how I’m going forward fearlessly in 2018.
Of course on occasion things may come up that incite fear, but I also know that my fear is a nice reminder that I need to go forward to see that there’s nothing to fear in the first place, enabling me to use it to my advantage, and helping me accept my shadow. If you take the time to ask yourself what you truly fear and where it comes from only then can you see that you created most of it in your mind, but also you’ll be able to see how to get creative with it so that you can finally accept your “fear” as an aspect of you that you are learning, and maybe after some time it won’t even exist at all.